Nigella Lawson is a Threat

Nigella Lawson is a direct threat to my homosexuality.

I find myself staring into her big brown eyes as she does a quick coo-chi-chi-coo with her mezaluna over some parsley.

I blink a moment as my Id goes into hysterics and my Ego starts doing impersonations of Austin Powers when she drizzles chocolate over something and licks her fingers and gives a quick knowing glance at the camera…yeah, baby.

Is it the English accent? Is the fact that she openly makes fun of herself? Is it that she equates squirting ketchup with farting?

Who knows, but I’m entranced by her.

She’s everything Rachel Ray is not.

I want to go food shopping with her. I want to share a tiny kitchen with her as we proceed to wow everyone in our paths while bumping into each other…watch your back…hot, hot, hot. I want to raid her refrigerator… like she does every week.

Is that so wrong?