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When your mother dies, you don’t get to go home for Christmas anymore.

When break up with your partner, you dont get to dgo to their parent’s house for Christmas anymore.

When you intentionally move 3000 miles away, you don’t get to whine about not having any where to go on Christmas.

So what do you do?

You make new things.

You cook for two days. You make comforting foods. You make fattening foods. You make things that smell good and taste better. You make things that the Food Network wouldnt even sink so low as to make.

You go through your contacts and invite everyone you know and make more food just in case.

And then you wait.

You try not to think about it despite thinking about it all the time. You miss your mother. You miss having a lover (although you really don’t miss that particular lover). You just wish the phone would ring…ring damn you, ring.

And then they show up. Holy crap, they do. They come and eat and laugh and drink and eat some more. You relax. You laugh and eat and drink and laugh some more. Inspite of yourself, you have a really really good time.

You make new traditions. You step back and feel the good in what you’ve made here and say to yourself “Next year we’ll do more… yes, next year.”

Because in the planning for next year…you find a reason to keep going… and going… and going….

Because despite the fact that your mother is gone, and you’re still single and you’re still occassionally feeling like you’re struggliung to make friends here…. next year, yes, next year will be better. And so will the year after that…and after that…and after that….

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