Black Catfish Soup

1 yellow onion
1 clove elephant garlic (approximately the size of a fig)
3 cups black beans (cooked in a crock pot a few weeks before and kept in the freezer next to your container containing the makings for chicken stock to be made in the same crock pot)
1 container of vegetable broth bought from the asian organic market (TAKE THAT CORPORATE GROCERY STORE!)
1 catfish fillet (because the red snapper was probably not really snapper and cost almost twice as much)

  1. Have difficult day and work and desire something easy yet healthy.
  2. Dice onion and garlic. Marvel at size of garlic clove. Reserve skins and end pieces to go into the above referenced container for chicken stock.
  3. Sweat off onions and garlic in olive oil (yes, bought at the organic store deliberately to take money out of Safeway’s hands)
  4. Add beans. Add container of vegetable broth.
  5. Bring to a boil.
  6. Go to computer and begin chatting with cute bearish blue eyed guy who seems to have the same concepts of dating you do.
    • And by dating, I mean getting together for a beer or coffee and talking.
  7. Stir bean mixture to ensure it’s not burning.
  8. Give blue eyed bear your email to make plans. Feel good about it even if he doesn’t get in touch.
  9. Know that’s really a crock of shit and that you’ll compulsively check to see if he’s emailed every 20 seconds.
  10. When soup has reduced and thickened, add catfish fillet that’s been cut into 1″ chunks.
  11. Remove from heat and cover.
  12. Go back to computer to see if he’s emailed yet. Pout when he hasn’t
  13. Allow the heat of the soup to cook the fish.
  14. Lunge for the tv when Wheel of Fortune comes on because it’s an affront to your status as a college educated citizen. Besides, how old is Vanna White these days ANYWAY?
  15. Spoon soup into the Hello Kitty bowl a female friend gave you when she moved to Seattle.
  16. Drizzle with chili sesame oil.
  17. Change channel again when that ad with Jamie Lee Curtis and the kids all singing off key comes on again. Even Vanna White is better than hearing those damn kids 12 times in an hour.
  18. Sit down. Creamy spicy soup. Tender juicy fish.
  19. Check email one last time. Figure he’ll email if he’s interested. And if not? NO SOUP FOR HIM!
  20. Mock woman on Wheel of Fortune openly and feel incredible about yourself.
  21. Notice brown eyed man on the same website…..